I had a birthday 2 weeks ago. Not ‘the big one’, but one that has hit me harder than I ever thought a birthday could.
I could actually feel it happening as the months and days crept toward November 7. Subtle changes.
First was the unexplained weight gain. I was exercising, eating healthy (mostly), not drinking often, and things were getting bigger. I’m a ‘classic hourglass’ shape so that means butt and boobs. Both places that definitely don’t need to be larger!
This was followed by aches in places I hadn’t had pain before. My hip. My knees. Random bolts of agony from my ovaries. Oh, yes, the change is happening.
Then, there was the stark realization that my life is more than half over. And this reality, more than anything, seems to be the catalyst.
And some things need to change.
Of course there are the basics – health, money, family. But there are also business goals I want to reach. And ‘bucket list’ items that I want to enjoy, not endure.
I am horrible at following through on goals.
Oh, I do great for a week or two then I fall off the proverbial wagon and find it hard to climb back on.
Of course I have no one to boost me back up because I don’t actually share those goals with anyone.
Because what if I miss them?
What if I fail, spectacularly, in front of people who think I have my isht together?
What if I stand up to teach a session at a conference and people don’t learn anything- proving that I am not as smart as I have portrayed myself to be?
What if, what if, what if…
But what if I don’t fail?
What if I am actually more ‘together’ than I give myself credit for?
What if I can actually teach people things that will help them achieve their own BFH goals?
What if I can actually fit into jeans that are 2 sizes smaller than I am currently wearing???? Because, it really does all come back to my ass being larger than I am happy with.
Welcome to #50_before50. A year of goals, evolution, and discovery.
So, here I am, in the year before I cross the half-century mark.
A time that I honestly thought would never come.
Join me as I wade through it?
Maybe you’ll get to see me fail.
Maybe you’ll get to see me fly.
Who knows? But I’m sure it will be a wild ride.
Because it’s all downhill from here…
Just last week I discovered the dreaded chin wrinkle. The one that immediately gives you double chin. The one that signals turkey neck isn’t far off. The one they make a face slimming belt to combat…
Did I even mention I’m vain? No? We’ll have to dig into that later…