As I was noticing all the changes that were creeping into the fringes of my consciousness – the new aches, the thinning eyelashes, the deep wrinkle between my eyebrows- I never once thought I would experience a midlife crisis.
As my husband and I set future goals, made plans to return our leased business vehicle and buy a replacement it never even occurred to me.
As we ordered our new truck and waited, rather impatiently, for it to be completed and shipped, I never once thought of it as a midlife crisis car.
It wasn’t until we got it, and I was driving through town, music up, top down, that I realized that this vehicle, one reminiscent of two I had owned when I was younger, made me feel like a ‘self’ I had left behind.
More free, maybe a bit untethered, and definitely more fun.
And then it hit me… This is my midlife crisis vehicle!
What is a Midlife Crisis, Anyway?
According to the Oxford Dictionary a midlife crisis is an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age.
Great- so now I’m middle aged.
According to WebMD the ‘midlife crisis’ is a normal stage of life which manifests differently for men and women.
Men, the article says, ‘want to prove something’ -success, virility, power- while ‘women may become more selfish’, feeling they have ‘paid their dues’.
But not too far off what I am feeling, if I’m being honest.
I’m at the point where my girls are well able to care for themselves if Doug and I want an evening out. We have even planned short breaks where we have someone available to drive them to activities and spend the night as a safety precaution, but they take care of themselves.
And I’ve mostly shed the ‘mom guilt’ of not being around for some important events. Case in point: I was leading a tour in Ireland and missed my youngest daughter’s birthday. Oops!
So am I experiencing a midlife crisis? Who knows. Maybe I just feel like I am more able to take back a bit of who I was while exploring who I will be going forward.
Love this alternate thought on midlife crisis (from WebMD article linked above),
“You’re not losing your identity. You have an opportunity to create a new one.”Joan R. Sherman, LMFT
Gotta Look for the Bright Spots
I went to see my chiropractor today for some of my aches and pains. As we discussed the exercises I can and can’t do right now (buh bye squats!) I was musing about middle age.
He has heard me joke about my midlife crisis vehicle before and, as we laughed about that, he asked how old I am.
“I turned 49 two weeks ago,” I replied.
“Really? Aging is being kind to you. I thought you were closer to my age (44).”
And that is why I will never switch chiropractors.